Procedure: another nice word for COLONOSCOPY

Is there a nice word for colonoscopy? I don't think there is, but there is one truly nice thing about a colonoscopy. You don't remember it! Alas for me, I had to undergo this 'procedure' yesterday. And double alas for me, I have to endure it in another two years. I always thought two years seemed like a long time, but in relation to a colonoscopy, that two years is going to go way too fast for my liking. So I can hear you asking "If you forget it, what's the problem?" It's not the actual event that is scary, but the lead up to it, the preparation. Now I say 'preparation' like it's a nice word, right? Think again.

Take a seemingly innocent little bottle of Fleet Phosph-Soda (the prep liquid - only 45 mls) and mix with gingerale in three doses ten minutes apart. Wait. Rumble. Run. After eating a diet of no fibre food for two days, then a liquid diet for twenty-four hours, you can imagine the result. What goes in must come out! And you don't want to know the rest, but Billy Connolly does a very funny routine on Colonoscopy. (I'll excuse Billy for his swearing on this occasion, but be warned.) I think I got off lightly or there is something very wrong with Billy's butt.

"I've included this pretty little photo just for comedic relief."

Timing is everything they say and the chemists behind the prep liquid must have done their homework here. It takes about 3 1/2 hours from go to whoa! During this 3 1/2 hours there is no such thing as whoa, just.... go! But as suddenly and frequently as the whole process goes, it all suddenly stops. Big relief! This performance is staged the night before and the morning of the 'procedure'. All very tiring I can tell you. I think the conspirators of this exercise make it so that when you get to Day Surgery you are longing to jump up on that table and have a good sleep, no matter what is going on. Then, the doctor informs you that you will be awake during the 'procedure' so that you can tell them if they've perforated your bowel or some other discomforting thing. The BIG MYSTERY is that they put something in your canula that makes you forget that the 'procedure' actually took place. It's a pity they couldn't make it last for the whole preceding twenty-four hours! That would be truly awesome!

It's weird. I woke up and straight away I could remember something of what I had gone through. Then I went back to sleep and when I woke up again I couldn't remember what I had remembered. How does that work? Anyway, no matter. I'm just glad it DOES work. Having a colonoscopy isn't something I want to remember, just have good results...blah, blah, blah.

Motivation or the Lack of it!

I am sooooo unmotivated!! Someone, help me. I am what is typically known as 'stuck in a rut'. I don't know if it's still part of the grieving process associated with my dad dying last November, or what... but I need to 'get a life!' Honestly, I do.

I have very few friends (my own fault mabye), I don't belong to any clubs or things to make me leave the house and I stay home most of every day usually in deathly quiet. Correction, some mornings ABC radio national is my companion. They have great interviews and interesting book reviews. ABC radio national is my friend. How sad is that? There are plenty of excuses, all of them seemingly quite valid as to why I haven't really started back in the studio properly. I had made a good start; painted and sold a commission work, finished a painting, and started a new one, when I got sick with some kind of virus causing infected sinuses with the complications of dizziness and nausea. It's been three weeks and finally last night was the first night that I could roll over in bed and not have the room spin in the dark. AND today, I didn't experience any dizziness at all through the day. Yippee!

'Dead Flowers' by Ronnie
Back to my lack of motivation.... It's not that I don't do anything, I think it's that I allow myself to become easily distracted, and then the day is gone. Distracted with the little things. Creation takes energy, and I don't seem to have loads of that at the moment. Now I know that if I exercise to get my blood circulating then I am much more likely to feel energetic. Weird how that works. This is how I see it. We have to force ourselves to expend energy first so that in the absence of the spent energy, new energy rushes in to fill the gap. But I need to get motivated to expend that small amount of energy first! And by first, I mean, first thing in the morning. That's where I'm stalling at the gates.

It's so easy to stroll around in my cuddly big dressing gown, sipping lovely cups of tea, whilst catching up with what the world is doing on Facebook. I know, I can hear you all groaning and wishing you had my life. Be careful what you wish for. Yes, I have raised five children. And yes, I did care full time for my dad. And yes, my youngest did only leave home maybe a year ago. This is the first time in our lives that I've actually been able to do this 'lolling about' thing and I should enjoy it right? Enjoy it for what it is right? I have time to garden, paint, bake goodies, catch up with friends, read, knit, did I forget clean the house? (Yeah I did, on purpose. Right now I'm approaching cleaning with a minimalist attitude. Ha.) But, is this how I want to fill my days? Not really. It's nice but not fulfilling. I don't feel I'm adding to the world. Probably in the past, I've always felt that what I was doing was adding to the world, and right now, I'm not adding.

So do I have a plan? No. But I've got a feeling 'this too shall pass'. Haha. How corny. Corny but true. The planets will align for me soon. I can feel it. Motivation, inclination, time. Blah, blah, blah...

It's almost official! I'm ALMOST a hermit!

Wellness is to be truly cherished. I hadn't been really unwell for about 10 years until after my dad passed away in November 2008. Then... I got sick with everything! I've been told by many, many people including my doc, and several pharmacists that this is not unheard of after the passing of someone that you've cared for at length. ( I nursed my dad for about 14 months.) I suppose that's a relatively short time compared to those who care for the mentally and physically disabled. I admire those people immensely.

My immune system must not be fully recovered yet as I picked up a bug a couple of weeks ago and am STILL feeling the effects of it. Yuk! I hate being ill. This particular nasty is quite sneaky in that it doesn't make you sick enough to put you in bed or take you to the doctor. It's just bad enough to make you not want to do anything or go anywhere. Just a general lethargy, dizziness (annoying) and a nose and sinuses full of colourful catarrh or in other words.... green snot!

I swear, I have gone through at least a large box of tissues and a roll of TP in the last two weeks. Now, how do I feel? Like I've blown most of my brains out and they have been politely flushed down the loo. That's how I feel!



AND... I feel like I've been trapped in my house forever 'cos I just don't have the will-power to go out and be social. The weather hasn't been perfect and I must say that when we do get an odd sunny day, I have been forcing myself to take the dog out for 'walkies' just to breath fresh air knowing that it's good for me. Maybe I have a touch of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Who knows? I know one thing for sure! I AM in danger of becoming a hermit! How easy it is to let the world slip away within a couple of weeks.

So.... what am I going to do about this situation? Well, right now, instead of sitting here at my computer adding to my hermetic existence, I'm going to get up and go out........ See ya.

READ TITLE..... I said 'Almost!'